There’s nothing more exciting than opening a box of dress-up clothes and watching children’s eyes light up as they dive into a space full of diversity, and rich in potential. Within moments, the room transforms into a place where children connect to their imaginative world informed by their cultural identity as imaginations are ignited.
In some services, you may see a little boy twirling in a sparkly dress, or a little girl flexing her muscles in a superhero cape, ready to save the world. These moments of pure joy and creativity highlight the magic of dress-up play, where children have the choice to explore different roles and identities without a second thought. It can be disheartening when a parent or carer intervenes in the wonder of this play by asserting that their child should not dress in clothing that they consider appropriate only for the opposite gender.
The role of dress-up play in early childhood development
Engaging in pretend play with dress-ups is a wonderful and important context for young children to explore different identities, roles, and points of view. As professionals in education and care, our role is to support children to develop an authentic understanding of themselves. Part of this responsibility is provisioning the learning environment with books and resources which respectfully depict diverse gender roles and identities for the children to freely explore. This approach is supported by the Early Years Learning Framework V2.0 (page 34). At the same time, we must seek to understand the views of families, ensuring that we demonstrate respect for their culture, values, and beliefs, as reflected in Element 6.1.2 of the National Quality Standard (NQS).
Balancing parental preferences and child autonomy
"Families and educators may not share the same understanding of play which can open a vital channel for exploring identity and different ways of knowing, doing, and being."
ECA Statement on Play, p.42
Dr. Rachel Chapman, who completed a research study into early childhood educators’ experiences with gender in early childhood settings, highlights that many educators face situations where parents have concerns about their children wearing dress-ups stereotypically associated with the opposite gender.
Many of the educator participants said they had situations with parents (generally fathers) who had concerns about their children wearing ‘dress-ups’ that were stereotypically associated with males or females," recalls Dr Chapman. "These educators wondered whose interests they should be serving first. They referred to walking the line between the parent as the expert on their child, and the educators’ role to support children in developing their identities.
Creating inclusive and creative play environments
Early childhood educators often face the challenging task of navigating these waters, where they must reflect critically on their practice, drawing upon frameworks like the EYLF V2.0 and the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC). This reflection involves unpacking the nuances of child rights and education theory, aiming to provide a response that is both respectful to families and grounded in professional knowledge.
Dr. Chapman suggests that educators adopt a multi-faceted approach to this situation. First, she recommends a whole-setting strategy on gender, which includes developing a policy on gender in the setting. Such a policy can provide a consistent framework for responding to gender-related issues and can be communicated to families during enrolment to set clear expectations.
Dr. Chapman also emphasises the importance of understanding the documentation supporting these decisions, such as the EYLF 2.0, which encourages cultural responsiveness and the exploration of gender identities. She states, "Remember that as early childhood educators, we are not there to judge families. We are there to advocate for the children. While we recognise that parents and carers are the first teachers and experts on their children, it is our role to foster children’s exploration of the world and of themselves, including their own identities, in a holistic and expansive way. This is a vital part of our job. This is at the core of being, belonging, and becoming."
To foster an inclusive play environment, Dr Chapman advises educators to offer open-ended and gender-neutral dress-up options. This approach entails providing materials that support children to create characters of their own imagining, rather than predefined, gender-specific costumes. Such an environment not only supports creativity but also mitigates the tension between parental preferences and children's rights to free expression.
Legal and ethical frameworks
The legal and ethical backdrop to this discussion, particularly Article 12 of the UNCRC, stresses the importance of listening to children and taking their views seriously. In decisions affecting them, children’s perspectives are not just supplementary; they are fundamental to creating respectful and empowering educational settings.
Approaching the issue with empathy and professionalism
In navigating parental preferences and educational ethics, educators might adopt a nuanced approach. They can respect parents' wishes to a certain extent while maintaining the integrity of the educational environment. For instance, if a parent disapproves of their child wearing certain types of dress-up clothing, educators can ensure that the child has access to a variety of other play options, thereby maintaining an inclusive setting without overtly excluding any forms of expression.
CELA early education specialist Jen Boddy believes that the first step in approaching this situation is to listen to the parents' concerns with empathy and compassion. She suggests that educators gently ask a few questions to uncover the root of their worries about dress-up play preferences.
“Depending on their response, it would be helpful to make a time where you can sit down together to talk through their concerns and share your professional knowledge about the benefits of pretend play. I would recommend having this conversation over a cup of tea. The sharing of tea or a warm beverage is a powerful way to begin a sensitive conversation as it is a gesture of connection, signalling shared humanity as you come together with the best interests of their child at heart.”
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Jen says that in preparation for the catch up, it would be beneficial to critically reflect with colleagues. Consider diverse perspectives, enabling educators to brainstorm all possible resolutions and explore the implications of each resolution for equity and social justice. It would also be wise to consider your service philosophy and the principles of the National Quality Framework as these underpin practice in education and care and can therefore be used to help guide your decision-making.
“Throughout this process, it is important to remember that just like you, families come to the service with a life of experiences and particular ways of thinking and being in the world,” says Jen. “By meeting together, you can gain insight into each other’s perspective and work together to ensure that the rights of their child are upheld whilst respecting the culture, values, and beliefs of the family. Remember, it may take more than one cup of tea.”
Dr. Chapman advises having respectful conversations about policies and practices, and offering resources to explain the reasoning in accessible language. This could include having a small lending library, a folder of useful articles, or even links to podcasts to support discussions with families.
Does this mean we should remove all the wedding dresses, princess and superhero costumes?
No, it just means that educators need to be reflective and know their why.
Ask yourself, "Why do I have the basket of props and dress-ups in the children's play space?"
This space should not be one where you simply "set and forget."
Play-based learning with intentionality can expand children's thinking and enhance their desire to know and learn, promoting positive dispositions towards learning (EYLF, p.21). We should aim to provoke discussion, challenge ideas, and explore new thinking. This approach will support children in acting with intentionality and agency in their play.
In conclusion, the magic of dress-up play is not just in the costumes but in the freedom it offers children to explore, imagine, and understand themselves and others. As educators, our role is to support this exploration with sensitivity, respect, and professional knowledge, ensuring that every child has the opportunity to shine in their own unique way, while respecting the beliefs and roles of families.
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Resources to support your reflection
CELA professional development relating to this topic
About the contributors
Jen Boddy - CELA Early Education Specialist
Jen is an experienced early education and care professional who has worked across long day care, preschool, and outside of school hours care settings. Through her work as a facilitator, Jen has supported leadership teams to build capacity in reflective practice, quality improvement planning, leadership, and governance. She has also developed key resources to support understanding of the National Quality Framework in practice.
Dr Rachel Chapman - Melbourne Polytechnic
Rachel is an academic in early childhood education at Melbourne Polytechnic in Melbourne, Australia. Her research areas include gender, sexuality, early childhood education, media, popular culture, diversity, inclusion, policy and teacher practice. She has over 20 years of experience teaching, lecturing and researching in the early childhood sector. She is on the board of Social Justice in Early Childhood. Her book "Gender expansion in early childhood education: Building and supporting pro-diversity spaces" was published with Palgrave Macmillan in late 2023.