When it comes to supporting children’s understanding of healthy eating habits, everyone seems to have their own opinion on how it should be done. But in early childhood education and care, where practices are grounded in respect for children’s learning, decisions should be informed by evidence and professional guidance—not personal opinion.
The formation of eating patterns is shaped by many influences, with early mealtime experiences and access to food playing a central role. These experiences help determine a child’s current and future eating behaviours and preferences. This article focuses on the language we use around food, which is a powerful factor in shaping how children behave at mealtimes.
Food shame and avoiding judgement
Dr Zali Yager, Co-executive Director at The Embrace Collective, says the key to helping children develop a positive relationship with food is to stop judging or shaming their food choices (Yager, 2024).
“When children feel guilt and shame about what they’re eating, it can eventually lead to hiding foods, eating in secret, binging, restriction, food aversions, and other disordered eating attitudes and behaviours that can lead to a lifetime of mental health challenges,” Dr Yager writes in The Sector.
The following case study is taken from my own experience:
Jenny*, 5 years-old, opened her lunchbox and saw a couple of dark chocolate squares in it. What happened next broke my heart. She quickly lowered the lunchbox’s lid and looked around. As she saw me watching, she said “Naughty mummy! She put chocolate in my lunchbox”.
I replied, “It’s ok if you want to eat your chocolate”. She smiled and ate her sandwich. After that, she opened the lunchbox again and looked at me. I just smiled. She took the chocolate piece and looked at me again. I again smiled. She smiled back and ate it. That happened a few years ago at the ECEC service where I used to work as a casual educator.
Feeling ashamed of enjoying certain foods can lead to disordered eating (Olivera et al., 2020). That little girl may well be on her way to a life of an unhealthy relationship with food because she has been conditioned to believe that a little treat in her lunchbox is wrong, and something to be ashamed of.
Some children’s books may also contribute to harmful results. An example is a popular book titled The Magic Lunchbox in which children are taught what foods belong in the lunchbox, meaning that they are healthy, and what foods belong in the bin, meaning that they are unhealthy.
Children who learn that some of their favourite foods like chocolate, for example, should “hit the bin” according to The Magic Lunchbox, may feel confused, ashamed and anxious about it. Just like Jenny. Dieting and children
Another popular book is There’s a hippopotamus on our roof eating cake. You may think that I would have a problem with the hippopotamus eating cake “all the time” in the story, but I don’t have a problem with that because it’s an imaginary animal eating cake on a house’s roof. Children grasp the fantasticality in it. It’s not like the story is about a child eating cake all the time in the playground, which is a much more believable and relatable situation.
On one page of the book, the following words are written:
Mummy is on a diet
She eats lettuce, tomato and cheese.
My big brother eats peanut butter sandwiches.
I eat honey sandwiches.
The hippopotamus on our roof eats cake all the time.
But the line “Mummy is on a diet. She eats lettuce, tomato and cheese” is not a fantastical or playful detail. It depicts a real-life moment: a mother sharing a meal with her children at the dining table. That’s what concerns me. It subtly suggests that eating lettuce, tomato and cheese means you’re on a diet - or worse, that dieting is just something mums do. When children regularly encounter messages like this, they’re at greater risk of developing disordered eating habits (Spivak-Lavi et al, 2023; Lindsay, 2024; Kontele et al, 2023).
When I read this book, I always skip the line “Mummy is on a diet.” It doesn’t affect the story, and I encourage you to consider doing the same.
(Source: There's a Hippopotamus on Our Roof Eating Cake)
Words matter
Mealtimes provide an excellent opportunity to discuss a wide range of topics, including food and nutrition. Creating a relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere at mealtime can help children to feel comfortable trying new foods and to engage with their peers.
However, we need to be aware of the moral labels we apply to foods and avoid terms such as ‘healthy/unhealthy’ and ‘good/bad’. And even terms like ‘sometimes/everyday foods’ can be confusing to young children who are yet to fully grasp their meaning.
The term ‘sometimes’ is vague and a child may feel anxious, not knowing when ‘sometime’ will be, or when they will have the chance to eat it again. This can cause that child to binge on cupcake as they may fear not having the opportunity to eat it for an unknown period of time.
My advice to educators is simple:
- Use the actual names of foods, such as chocolate, apple, pizza, cheese, chicken, and lettuce, rather than labels that judge or categorise them.
- Describe the sensorial qualities of food, like crunchy biscuit, round orange, red grape, or cold yoghurt, rather than using subjective terms like ‘yummy’, ‘healthy’, or ‘special’.
With over one million young children attending ECEC services in Australia and spending more than 30 hours per week in education and care (Department of Education, 2023; ABS, 2024), we are in a powerful position to influence their lifelong relationship with food. Let’s make that influence count by drawing on evidence-based research, not personal opinion.
*Not the child’s real name.
References
Australian Bureau of Statistics. (2024). Preschool education. https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/education/preschool-education/2023
Department of Education, Australian Government. (2024). Child Care Subsidy data report – December quarter 2023. https://www.education.gov.au/early-childhood/early-childhood-data-and-reports/quarterly-reports-usage-services-fees-and-subsidies/child-care-subsidy-data-report-december-quarter-2023
Kontele, I., Saripanagiotou, S., Papadopoulou, A. M., Zoumbaneas, E., & Vassilakou, T. (2023). Parental dieting and correlation with disordered eating behaviours in adolescents: A narrative review. Adolescents, 3(3), 538–549. https://doi.org/10.3390/adolescents3030038
Lindsay, H. (2024). Associations among parent dieting, dietary restraint, and children's eating attitudes and behaviours [Doctoral dissertation, Bowling Green State University]. OhioLINK Electronic Theses and Dissertations Centre. https://etd.ohiolink.edu/acprod/odb_etd/etd/r/1501/10?clear=10&p10_accession_num=bgsu1680206988760588
Oliveira, S., Pires, C., & Ferreira, C. (2020). Does the recall of caregiver eating messages exacerbate the pathogenic impact of shame on eating and weight-related difficulties? Eating and Weight Disorders, 25, 471–480. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40519-018-0625-8
Spivak-Lavi, Z., Latzer, Y., & Katz, R. (2023). The role of mothers’ involvement in their daughters’ self-esteem and dieting behaviours. Health Care for Women International, 45(5), 512–536. https://doi.org/10.1080/07399332.2023.2183205
Yager, D. Z. (2024, April 9). Three ways to help children build a positive relationship with food. The Sector. https://thesector.com.au/2024/04/09/three-ways-to-help-children-build-a-positive-relationship-with-food/